“For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.”
This is how my stomach spent most of my pregnancy. The bruises that you see are the result of a daily dose of Lovenox (a blood thinner) that’s used to treat a thrombophilia referred to as MTHFR. I lost two babies before I was able to carry Our Boy to full term. After my second loss, early in our marriage, the doctor’s office ran some blood tests and told me that my blood didn’t process folate (aka folic acid) as it should. My blood would clot in the small vessels of the developing placenta and cut off all supply of nutrients to my babies, resulting in a loss of life. If I became pregnant again, I was to contact them immediately to be put on the regimen of Lovenox, five times the daily dose of folic acid and a daily baby aspirin. I’d like to tell you that this was the “hardest” thing I (we) went through to get him here.
Halfway through, I developed gestational diabetes. A little over a month before his due date, I went into preterm labor during OUR LABOR AND DELIVERY class WHILE at the HOSPITAL. If you want to freak out a room full of nervous expectant parents, just have the one who said she was high risk and wasn’t sure that her son would live go into labor. The last part of that sentence is heavy and true. I wasn’t sure he’d make it. I prayed daily and often that God would keep him alive, that my body wouldn’t turn on my unborn child. “Just give me MY child, God. Just please, please, please let him live and protect him from whatever goes into my body that could hurt him.” I’d like to tell you that this was the “hardest” thing.
I was on bed rest after our preterm labor scare, and developed preeclampsia. I made multiple trips through the week to have our baby’s heart rate monitored at the doctor’s office. While on yet another visit to the doctor’s office, we waited to find out when I’d (we’d) have a C-section the next week. Our doctor wanted to double check the protein levels, and came back in and informed us to go immediately to the labor and delivery floor. We would meet Our Boy first thing in the morning. I’d like to tell you that this was the “hardest” thing.
Don’t get upset, though. The C-section went fine, except for that agonizingly long moment when I (we) waited to hear him draw breath and cry. The entire time I lay on that table, I kept praying: “Please, please, please, PLEASE God!” And I will never forget my first glimpse at him. Angry, going purple in the face, being held up by a labor and delivery nurse who had received a lecture on team work during the surgery and couldn’t care less. One fist clenched tightly by his angry little face, just as we’d seen a day or two before when he decided to give us a glimpse of it. I’d like to tell you that this was the “hardest” thing.
One of the “hardest” things right now is dealing with comments from those who know what I did and what I (we) went through to get him here. Comments from those who don’t like that I’ve (we’ve) put our son on a healthy, allergen free diet in an attempt to protect his little body from further harm and to heal his damaged little gut from the effects of his time in my traitorous body. I’m somewhat baffled as to why they think he will “suffer”(?) from being denied those things that CAUSE HARM TO HIS LITTLE BODY. Is this the “hardest” thing?
NO. But, right now, it is a hurtful, frustrating thing.
I’m not Hannah (see 1 Samuel 1). I don’t have to take my son and place him in custody of the temple priest. He is here, with me. MY (OUR) son. And I will honor God’s granting of my prayer, and His unbelievably precious gift, by doing everything in my power to take care of Our Boy, in the best way possible. I know him better than anyone else. I don’t spend large amounts of time researching and reading for nothing. After all, the same God who gave me my son, also saw fit to grant me a brain, with the ability to use it.
And Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the LORD;
My horn (that is, strength) is exalted in the LORD.
I smile at my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.”